Ephesians 1:17-18 ….that the God of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of glory, may give to you a spirit of wisdom and of revelation in the knowledge of Him. I pray that the eyes of your heart may be enlightened, so that you will know what is the hope of His calling, what are the riches of the glory of His inheritance in the saints…
I told you recently I was trying to stop being a “looker-backer.” At least the type of looking back that caused pain, and guilt, and caused me to stumble in my walk. But this is a different kind of looking back. A look back that reminds me of the wonderful things God has been able to do in my life. In Mike’s life. In the kids’ lives. And a chance to pray fervently for someone else.
A year ago this week, my path crossed with that of another woman, another wife, another mom. We had some things in common and so we were inadvertently forced to meet. I remember the phone calls and the emails and the texts as we tried to reconcile our differences. I remember one call in particular – a three hour call – in which I witnessed to her. I shared with her about my God – the strength behind who I was and who I was becoming. I shared with her the Spirit who allowed me to do unthinkable things – like love the unlovable, and forgive those who didn’t “deserve” forgiveness, and care for those who may never care back. I was so hopeful that something I said during those conversations would touch her heart. Help her to realize although we had a very tumultuous beginning (and middle and end) that I cared for her…as a human and as a child of God. Scratch that. I am so hopeful!
For quite some time, memories of my relationship with this person would hurt. At first it was because of things that were said and done to me, but the Holy Spirit softened my heart even more and the pain became more of an empathy – my longing for her to know my God….the God that loves her deeply and is waiting for the Prodigal to return. Not the God she knew from her “religion” or the God she knew from other fallen Christians stuck in their sinful ways. Or the false gods that she had created in her own life. But the One True God who loves her and wants her back!!
I still look back. But not in a destructive way. I can now pass her subdivision without Satan tempting me to wallow in my pity. When I see her make and model and color of car, I’m not tempted to check for her specialty plates on the back. When I pass or see these things now, I pray.
The thing is, since I don’t have any contact with her anymore, I’m not sure what’s going on in her life. Maybe she has become a believer and has put her own past behind her. Maybe she has turned to her husband and strengthened her marriage. Maybe…. I don’t know. But God does. I am so thankful for the Holy Spirit who can turn my prayers into something beautiful and relevant! Romans 8:26!!! Love it!
I don’t know if you’re reading my blog still…But if you are….I want you to know…I pray for you! I pray for your salvation, your marriage, your children, and ultimately for your heart. I pray your heart is softened to God’s Word. To the truth in the Scriptures that God loves you, that He has a plan for you-one he has pre-destined you for-one he has created you for. One that will prosper you and give you hope. One that will fill you with joy when you follow it. True joy, not temporary worldly happiness. But joy.
Even though you specifically asked me not to pray for you, there has not been a day in the past year where I have not prayed for you in some way, shape or form. Sometimes it’s a long prayer and sometimes just a quick appeal to God. For Him to make Himself known to you and for you to know and accept him. All said and done, I’ve probably prayed more consistently for you than for any other single person!
I have no idea if you’ll ever see this. Maybe this side of heaven I’ll never know if anything I witnessed to you “stuck” or if any prayer I lifted for you was answered with a “yes.”
Know that you are loved. Know that despite our history, I care for you and for your family. While I can’t possibly know all of your hurt, know that we probably have more in common than either of us will ever realize. I’ve been where you’ve been on some level. I know the way out.
I pray you find it.
Because the rewards are phenomenal.
And there is unspeakable joy.





